


Uberrima Fidei

by asocialconstruct



Series: terrible htp minifills [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5+1 Things, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Consent Issues, HYDRA Trash Party, M/M, Magical Healing Cock, or at least steve thinks so, reference to medical torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 08:21:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4341182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asocialconstruct/pseuds/asocialconstruct
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“That good?” Bucky asked.  He lay on his side with his arm tucked under his pillow, almost as boyish as Steve remembered, but more watchful.  Something that could have been, that Steve hoped was, a shadow of a smile.  Open like a book but hard to read, like he’d been written over in another language.</p><p>--</p><p>The title is Latin for "utmost good faith," a standard of contract law which assumes that both parties are going into things with full knowledge and disclosure.  Which this does not have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Uberrima Fidei

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Uberrima Fidei](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6316453) by [Zamykaet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zamykaet/pseuds/Zamykaet)
  * Translation into 中文 available: [【授翻/盾冬】Uberrima Fidei](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10543658) by [flymetothemoon16](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flymetothemoon16/pseuds/flymetothemoon16)



> Some major consent issues in the on screen Steve/Bucky sex, see end notes for details.

1.

Seventy years or three years after the last time, Steve came with Bucky riding him like a borrowed mule.  

“Jesus,” Steve breathed, not sure he remembered how.  Bucky flopped down beside him, halfway between shit eating smug and shy.  “Jesus, Buck, I missed you.”

“That good?” Bucky asked.  He lay on his side with his arm tucked under his pillow, almost as boyish as Steve remembered, but more watchful.  Something that could have been, that Steve hoped was, a shadow of a smile.  Open like a book but hard to read, like he’d been written over in another language.

“Yeah, oh my god, yes,” Steve said, rolling over to tuck his head under Bucky’s chin like they used to, breathing in the smell of him.He smelled like Steve’s deodorant and the clean sheets and his own sweat, familiar and strange all at once for all that they’d been living in each others’ pockets the last few months, slowly inching closer until they finally fell into bed again.

Bucky breathed into his hair in answer, metal hand resting lightly on Steve’s waist.“You running in the morning?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah, then meetings,” Steve sighed against his chest.Same as always, and he almost didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to think about Bucky up here like a princess in a tower, spending his days alone while Steve had to be out.Like he’d been cursed and Steve couldn’t find a way to break it. 

“D’you mind if—“

“Hmmn?” Steve asked sleepily, tucked against Bucky’s chest, selfishly safe for the first time in decades.

“Do you mind if I go down to get the mail tomorrow?”

Steve propped himself up on an elbow at that, unable to keep the stupid smile off his face.  Maybe fairytales did come true after all.  “Course not,” Steve said, trying not to make a big deal of it, like the therapist said.  Let him find his own way in his own time.  “We could get coffee, after, or go out for lunch—“ he said, unable to stop his excitement but Bucky shook his head sharply.  Right.  Boundaries, and pacing themselves.  Steve tucked back down against Bucky’s chest, petting him until he fell asleep.

  

2.

Two weeks of petting on the couch and necking in bed and Steve was almost fit to burst a blood vessel, running hot every time Bucky so much as looked at him.But boundaries.Bucky set their pace, and didn’t push for anything more, so neither did Steve.Bucky went to his appointments and to get the mail every day, sorted the junk out and carefully stacked Steve’s fan letters and speaking requests, satisfied with that.Mornings having his head and his arm tinkered with, afternoons going down to the security desk in the lobby to get the mail.

He spent longer and longer in the lobby after getting the mail, though, sitting in the cafe by the windows and making Shield and Tony’s security nervous until Steve told them to knock it the hell off.Bucky had earned his afternoons of lattes and people watching if anyone had, a little longer every afternoon, according to Jarvis.Working up to spending longer out of the apartment, and Steve couldn’t help being proud of him.

He caught Bucky at it without meaning to one afternoon, too pleased to think about startling him when Steve came back from a police training to see him sitting in the sunny lobby cafe.  Bucky went dead still when Steve dropped into the seat beside him, good mood vanishing at the stricken look on Bucky’s face, like he’d been caught at something terrible.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to surprise you,” Steve said, putting his hands where Bucky could see them.  “Do you mind if I sit?  Get a coffee with you?”  It was absurd, after all they’d been through, but Bucky looked ready to bolt and Steve could feel the nervous energy radiating off him.

Bucky nodded solemnly, some of the tension easing out of him, but Steve kept half an eye on him as he ordered his coffee, half afraid Bucky would disappear on him if he turned his back.He hadn’t thought about this, that Bucky would still spook so easily after everything.

But by the time Steve’s coffee came, Bucky shed the tension like a coat, leaning into Steve to listen to him talk.  Steve counted it as a win when he dragged a half smile out of him, barely more than the shadow the other night in bed, but worth it all the same.

Bucky stood the second Steve finished his coffee, only hesitating long enough for him to follow to the elevators, and Steve should have known better before the doors even closed.He had his own moment of freezing up when Bucky shoved him against the closed elevator doors, blood running hot for entirely the wrong reason until he realized Bucky’s hand was on his cock and not his throat for a reason.

They made it to the couch and not much further, Steve’s ass getting rug burn while Bucky yanked him out of his clothes and sucked his cock slow enough to drive a saint mad.Bucky came into his hand after, nose to nose on the living room carpet with Steve sucking bruises on his throat like he’d dreamed of for too many long years, trying to put his mouth over Bucky’s pulse.They lay there like that for a minute, an hour, Steve couldn’t tell and didn’t particularly care.He brushed Bucky’s hair out of his face just to see his closed eyes better, combing his fingers through and soaking in the sight of him.

Bucky’s rumbling stomach got them off the floor, though, Bucky flushing bright red when Steve sat up and laughed at him, too high on the feeling of Bucky’s body to remember how Bucky had frozen in the cafe.He kissed Bucky on the tip of the nose to make up for it, getting Bucky’s shadow smile in return as they helped each other up to start dinner.

“You going running in the morning?” Bucky asked as they put themselves back together.

Steve sighed, not wanting to think about going back to the routine of leaving Bucky alone every morning, but the therapist said routines were important.“Yeah, and then meetings.”Always meetings, he’d die in meetings.

“Could I come with?” Bucky asked, eyes big and solemn even when Steve could feel himself smiling dopily.

“Yeah, that’d be great,” Steve said, and kissed him.  Slow and happy, trying to tell Bucky how much in love he was without making a big deal of it.

“Sam won’t mind.”Something in Bucky’s tone made Steve stop and look at him, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

“No, it’ll be great.We’ll get donuts after,” Steve said, and squeezed Bucky’s hand to tug him along and help make dinner.

 

3.

Bucky came with a shuddered moan, teeth digging into his own arm to muffle it while Steve fucked him.Slow and steady even though Steve had already come twice, working Bucky over and dragging out every second because he still couldn’t quite believe this was all real.

Bucky rolled onto his back as soon as Steve pulled out, flushed and ready to try for round three, but Bucky was done.Steve cuddled into him, petting Bucky’s chest and hip as he tucked himself down to lie on Bucky’s shoulder like he was a hundred pounds lighter.Bucky was heavier and broader these days too, though, built like a brick wall since he came back, so it was only fair.

“You want to have coffee tomorrow before or after we go running?” Steve mumbled into Bucky’s neck, pleasantly boneless, fingers tangled in Bucky’s hair.He sleepily tried to put a hand around Bucky’s bicep, still secretly thrilling that he couldn’t.Metal arm being slowly retrofitted by Tony’s R&D department and right arm almost the same proportion in Steve’s hand as when he’d been a dollar and change, and Steve was giddy on it.

“Could we get cream for the coffee?” Bucky asked the ceiling.

Steve turned his head on the pillow to look at Bucky, muzzy.“I thought you took it black,” Steve said without thinking about it, doubting his own memory even as he said it.He was sure of it, but maybe that was the Depression and the war, not how Bucky had ever been, and the thought that their normal had never really been normal hurt his heart.

Bucky froze, gone tense in the bed next to him, pinned like he’d been caught at something, like the cafe but worse.“I—sorry, I—“ he said, practically cringing away from Steve’s hands, like being someone Steve didn’t know was the worst crime he could commit.

“God, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—“ Steve said, pulling Bucky in despite his tense shoulders.“Jarvis’ll put it on the list in the morning, there’s cream downstairs in the meantime.I didn’t mean—I didn’t mean everything had to be like it used to.Of course we can get cream.” 

Bucky let himself be pulled back then, shoulders stiff as Steve tucked back against his side.It would be fine.They would get cream, and Steve would learn how to keep his foot out of his mouth, and everything would be fine.He fell asleep combing fingers through Bucky’s long hair, wrapped up in the familiar unfamiliar smell and feel of him.

 

4.

He came with hands twisted in Bucky’s hair third day in a row and practically drunk on it.Bucky jumped him as soon as he got in the door most afternoons, wouldn’t say a word about how therapy or the arm R&D was going until he’d sucked Steve off in the kitchen or the shower or the doorway.Not that Steve minded, exactly, when his legs weren’t threatening to turn to jelly under him.

But once in a while Bucky took mercy on him and let him collapse on the couch first, glancing up when Steve begged to watch Bucky jerk himself off.  And Lord have mercy, watching Bucky’s metal hand stroke his cock was not something Steve was ever prepared to admit he wanted, not after everything, but he came practically chocking on it when he watch Bucky come and just keep sucking him through it, focused and relentless as a thunderstorm.

Bucky leaned back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.Steve petted his hair clumsily and tried to comb out where he’d tangled Bucky’s hair in his fingers, completely gone on the ridiculous happiness of having Bucky safe. 

“Could you cut my hair?” Bucky said, shoulder leaning into Steve’s leg and cheek on his thigh.

“I’m a little out of practice,” Steve said, sleepy and fond.There was probably a photo of his old haircut around somewhere, or they could find something on the internet he liked.Harder to find a paper newspaper to put on the floor, but they’d manage.“You don’t want to go to a barber?”

Bucky shook his head against Steve’s thigh, turning his head down to let Steve card fingers through his hair and scratch his scalp.Steve would miss it, maybe, but it would be nice to have more of the old Bucky back.

 

5.

He looked good with short hair, heartbreakingly good, even, or maybe especially, because he didn’t quite look like Bucky in photos anymore.Too broad, the lines of his face too hard, his smile too thin and pale.

But he sighed in his sleep like he used to, he cupped the back of Steve’s neck like he used to, and he arched his back when he came like he used to, so Steve clung to that.Steve’s memories were sepia colored and tattered around the edges anyway, tinted by the grief and loneliness of those first two years.Bucky was better and better every day and Steve couldn’t begrudge him that. 

Steve breathed slowly against Bucky’s back, tucking in behind him to spoon and drifting.He stroked a hand down Bucky’s left arm even though he knew Bucky couldn’t feel much in it, wanting to relearn the shape of him.Bucky’s cool fingers ghosted down Steve’s thigh, faint and then gone.“Next time,” Bucky said quietly, so quiet Steve could have missed it if he were more asleep. 

“Hmmn?” Steve mumbled, pressing his nose to Bucky’s shoulder, mouthing at the muscle and dick half awake at the mention of next time.He could probably go again, or first thing in the morning, or maybe later in the shower.Or all three and then over the breakfast table. 

Bucky took a quiet breath in the dark, easy to miss.“Next time, could you use more lube?” Bucky asked, and Steve’s heart stopped.

“Yeah, Bucky, yeah, of course,” Steve breathed, propping himself up on an elbow when Bucky started to tense against him in the silence.Bracing, like when Steve asked him about the cream.“I’m sorry, Buck, I didn’t think—you could have said something sooner.”Steve smoothed a hand down Bucky’s arm and Bucky half turned to look at him in the dark, eyes searching.Steve leaned in to kiss him, Bucky’s mouth warm and slow under his.“You okay?” Steve asked, and settled back behind Bucky when he smiled the shadow smile and kissed Steve back.

 

+1.

Bucky came home later than Steve for once the next week, kept all day in R&D.He pulled Steve out of the kitchen without even pausing in his walk from the door, left hand on Steve’s chest as he walked them backwards into the bed, so Steve couldn’t not see the new soldered plates and little Stark Industries screw heads holding Bucky’s arm together while it was tinkered with.Logos on everything, even Bucky while they fixed him up.Last big push before they fit the new prosthetic, Tony said.Steve felt more nervous for it than Bucky seemed, one last strangeness about Bucky to relearn, but then it would be done, they’d be able to find their normal again.

Bucky didn’t seem to notice Steve’s focus on his arm, or didn’t care, stripping Steve’s clothes off him with unnerving focus and sucking him until he was half crazy with it.He let Steve flip them so that Bucky was ass up on the bed, weight supported on his folded arms, thick thighs spread so that Steve could run his hands over Bucky’s hard muscle and watch him shiver.Steve opened him up slow, with plenty of lube, trying to take his time but Bucky pushed back against him, impatient.

He let Bucky set the pace, hands on Bucky’s broad thighs and bony hips, just trying to keep up as Bucky drove them faster.Steve dug fingers into Bucky’s broad shoulder, trying to slow them down, trying to make it gentle, but Bucky’s breath came harsh through his teeth, impatient and wild until Steve pressed himself to Bucky’s back and fucked him ruthlessly, the way he wanted it.He came bent against Bucky’s back, shaking with the intensity like their very first time, when Bucky had laughed himself sick at Steve almost passing out.

“Can you tell them to use an anesthetic tomorrow?” Bucky asked as soon as Steve collapsed across his back, panting and sticky with sweat.He gulped another breath to clear his head and propped himself up, Bucky flat on his stomach and still as death.

“A what?Anesthetic for what?” Steve asked, dumb with the orgasm and the hour.

“My arm,” Bucky said, face half turned into the pillow so it was barely audible.  His hands tightened on the pillow, the soldered plates and little screw heads of the repairs catching the dim light.

“But you don’t—there’s no—“ nerve endings in the arm, Tony had said.No pain or other sensation.No reason for anesthetic when it needed to be worked on, plates opened up, wiring pulled out, metal soldered into the delicate mechanisms of it.

Bucky turned his face further into the pillow, shoulders hunched against the bed to hide with Steve’s weight still on him, half hard dick still pressed to Bucky’s ass.“You can fuck me again,” Bucky said, in a steady, even voice that put the lie to his body language and Steve scrambled off him like he’d been scalded.  

Bucky propped himself up to track Steve’s mad scramble back across the bed, not quite looking at him even as Steve stared at him, just starting to realize how horrified he should be.“It’ll be better when it doesn’t—“ Bucky took a breath, and Steve only noticed then how he cradled the metal arm against his chest.Barely, unless he knew to look for it. “When it doesn’t hurt,” Bucky finished, quiet again.

Bargaining.Jesus Christ, he’d been bargaining with sex to get the mail and Steve had been too dumb to know it.

“Bucky, you don’t—you don’t have to ask for that,” Steve said, because he didn’t know what else to say.Bucky ducked his head and wouldn’t look him in the eye, tense like he’d been in the cafe but no bargaining chips left, and Steve’s stomach lurched at the thought that Bucky had ever thought he’d need to bargain for something like cream in his coffee.Or enough lube to make sex not hurt.Jesus Mary and Joseph.

“Just tell me what to do,” Bucky said.Quiet and defeated.He leaned away from Steve’s hand reaching for him, jaw tensed and eyes closed, bracing for it.  

“Bucky, I—of course I’ll tell them to use anesthetic, of course you don’t have to feel it.I just—I’m just sorry you have to ask.”

“You’ll tell them?” Bucky said slowly, watching Steve now.

“Yeah.”

Bucky searched him, and Steve willed himself to stop holding his breath, not sure what he was bracing for.“What do you want?” Bucky said finally, putting off the tension in his shoulders like a coat, like he had when Steve caught him in the cafe.He leaned into Steve with that shadow smile, his come on smile, and Steve’s breath hitched.This was what he’d been bracing for.

“Nothing, Bucky, nothing,” he said, and couldn’t stop himself from kissing the top of Bucky’s head, sick with himself as he made up a bed on the couch. 

**Author's Note:**

> Steve believes they're having consented sex, but Bucky is operating under the assumption that he has to use sex to get what he wants. Steve doesn't figure out that Bucky hasn't been enthusiastically consenting until they've already had sex several times.


End file.
